Online Reflection #2- Third eye blind for now, but not for long
I am really enjoying my placement this semester for pre-student teaching, my CTs are great and I feel I have so much to learn from them. Perhaps more importantly I feel that I CAN learn from them because they fill me in on what they are planning and how they make their decisions. I certainly feel more comfortable in the classroom this semester than last due to my CTs efforts and my having more experience this time around. I definitely see the benefits of being in the classroom every day from gaining a better rapport with students and CT to actually having a glimpse of what being a teacher is actually going to be like. I think it would be of great benefit to COE students to get an earlier start on classroom experience while in the COE program.
As much as this semester is vastly improved over last semester, I still can’t help but worry about the intangibles that are just impossible to learn or experience until I have my own classroom. I guess I would describe the intangibles of teaching as the ‘inner workings’ of being a teacher; creating your own teaching philosophy, classroom management style, grading system, lessons and so forth. But as I sit writing this and contemplate on my time spent at my middle school, with my CTs, I realize that that is why I go every day to learn things and to get ideas to make up my own ‘intangibles’.
Furthermore I must tell myself and reassure myself that it is ok to be blind to the ‘inner workings’ right now. But what is not ok is to remain blind. I must actively engage my CTs and ask them questions and draw out their ideas and philosophies that way I am better prepared to make my own way as a teacher. There are times when I reflect on the day and the class time spent with my CT that I lose track of ‘the method behind the madness’ and think teaching is mostly about keeping a relatively quiet classroom and keeping students on task as much as humanly possible. NOT SO. When I start to break down the day and look past the surface, I start to see things my CT is doing such as modeling, audio/visual lesson planning, tweaking points of a lesson to fit certain students as well as keeping an eye on dress code and making sure students are wearing their ID badge.
I guess what I am really trying to say is that it is really hard to learn all the things a teacher does within a day, week and school year that makes their classroom function well and helps their students learn. In a way I think that is what I may be more concerned about than the actual lesson planning, which majorly concerns me too, or curriculum or test scores. I am confident I will be able to figure out successful lesson planning and how to improve scores but how do I get Tommy to stop bullying Frankie when I turn my back and how do I instill in Mariah that school is a safe place to be and she can stop worrying so much. Such things drive me crazy! How do you reach every kid? I hate that the answer is probably overwhelmingly you can’t, just help the ones who can help themselves better than the others. I think that just might be the hardest thing about being a teacher. But that’s why I’m here, to learn and get better.
Blind for now, but not for long.
posted by Kyle Schwanke at
8:42 PM
2 Comments:
Thanks for sharing.
I too feel overwhelmed when I try to think about all the different responsibilities teachers have. Assessments, standards, benchmarks, disciplining, etc... it's so much to learn! I am glad to know that someone else is as concerned about learning such things as I am. You're right though - we'll learn from our CTs and probably even more when we have our own classrooms.
Good luck!
I like your positive attitude! If we aren't constantly questioning these things, then how can we grow and learn? The fact that you realize just how difficult it is to be a great teacher shows that you will aspire to be one as well and that is admirable.
I think it seems overwhelming because we know there is still so much to learn and it doesn't seem like we have much time left. When I get anxious about everything, I try to remind myself that student teaching (next semester) will be great practice and that I should have confidence in my CT to point out my errors.
Your question about reaching every kid bothers me as well. I had a similar conversation with my CT today. The lesson and assignment for today provided plenty of strategies for students to be successful, yet, many of them did not work as hard as we would have liked. He reprimanded them and said he sometimes has to tighten the rope a little...be a little more strict....to get students back on track. I struggle in this area because when I see a student who is unresponsive, I want to reach out to them and figure out why they aren't working. I'm a "fixer" in that respect. However, my CT reminded me that we cannot hold their hand all they way through high school and then life after that. At some point, we need to talk to parents and perhaps coaches to find some motivating factor. I have at least five students in my classroom who basically sit idle when asked to complete an assignment. It is like pulling teeth to get them to do a quarter of the work. My CT agreed with me when I said I would rather have a student who is talkative, disrespectful, or even disruptive rather than a student who just does not respond. Why are these kids doing this? Is it depression? There I go, trying to be the "fixer". But, isn't that just another one of our job responsibilities!?
Keep questioning and I hope you have a great weekend with that new baby! Perhaps you can blog about it when he/she (can't remember which) arrives!
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